Preparing Teens for Real-World Success
Welcome to the Cleverly Changing podcast where we empower parents to raise confident, well rounded children. I'm Elle Cole, your host. And together, we'll explore tips, strategies, and inspiring stories to help our kids understand their unique gifts and skills. Join us as we navigate the journey of parenting, fostering self awareness and growth in our little ones so they can thrive as productive citizens. Let's get started.
Speaker 1:Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Cleverly Changing podcast. I am one of your hosts, Elle Cole. I am a mom of twin girls that are now 16 years old, and we are so grateful that you've joined us for today's podcast. I have an amazing guest here with me today, Orlana.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna give her an opportunity to introduce herself and share her background with you, but I am just so thrilled that she is gonna share a little bit with us about the work that she does. And I'm really excited because if you are a parent and you have teenagers, you know this is one of those interesting stages. I love it because it's when you really get a chance to see your children's personality and who they're becoming. And it's always wonderful when we have people in the community who are doing the work to build confidence in our team. So without further ado, Orlana darkens Drewery.
Speaker 1:Did I say that right, Alana?
Speaker 2:Perfect. Okay. Well, welcome. Thank you so much for the opportunity to be here.
Speaker 1:Well, welcome. We are just thrilled. Can you just give us a little bit about your background and what really brought you to this work?
Speaker 2:Yes. So I am a, media, personality here in Pittsburgh. I'm also a public relations professional, and I'm an advocate for young people. And my husband and I, 16 years ago, created the Shine Awards Foundation. We spell Shine with a y.
Speaker 2:And we created the foundation because we felt that young people, in the media, specifically, they are not represented in a balanced way. And so we created this organization mainly to host an event that highlights their achievements and celebrates young people, at a early age and not waiting until they're adults.
Speaker 1:Wow. Did you just wake up one day and say this is something you wanted to do? Was there some inspiration? Or some there's something happened that said, you know what? I need to do this right now.
Speaker 2:So the inspiration was actually my husband. So as I mentioned, public relations. I'm an event planner as well. And so my background was mostly, you know, in radio and I'm planning these, you know, celebrity events and VIP meet and greets and award shows. And he, works for, a organization where he serves as an advocate for victims.
Speaker 2:And at the time, he was mainly his concentration was schools. So if you saw my husband at your school, that was not a good thing. Something happened at the school. So he's seeing all these things happening. And for 2 years, he kept saying, you're planning all these events for adults.
Speaker 2:Like, these kids need something for their own. Be at the time, that was not my world. I didn't see it. So what happened was he, went to a school. He was on his way to address we'll we'll say a bad kid.
Speaker 2:So he was on his way to address a bad kid. And on his way to address that situation, a good student wanted his attention to share something good. And he said, oh, I I don't have time for you right now. I have to address the other person. And so the good student says, you know, I was thinking about committing a crime because my cousin did and they hooked him up with an apartment.
Speaker 2:They got him a job, and every weekend, they take them to a baseball game. And my husband, like, he said it that just hit him like a ton of bricks. Like, oh my gosh. Like, crime does pay. Like, we're actually rewarding negative activity.
Speaker 2:So when that happened to him, and, unfortunately, it it did take me, like, 2 years, but he was just like, we need to do something with kids. You know? They're they're not being, they're not being, awarded for the good things that they're doing. Even statistically, you know, it'll say 2 out of 5 young girls will get pregnant. Well, he's like, what's the other 3 doing?
Speaker 2:Like, we put much attention on the negative. So I'm not sure how much time we have, but very quickly. Eventually, I landed a contract with the university. The university had a college prep program. And in the college prep program, there were really good students and we had some students that entered in who were struggling, like almost near, like, expulsion.
Speaker 2:But they came through the program and towards the end of their participation, these kids were graduating with like 3.54.0. And for me, I'm like, where's the fanfare? So for me, that was my eye opener of, wow, we are not celebrating our kids unless we're not paying attention to our kids unless something bad happens. And so once I saw that for myself, that was the additional fire I needed to say, okay. As an event planner, as a public relations person, like, we gotta do something.
Speaker 2:So July 2007, the first Shine Awards was born. Really, honestly, we are only planning on doing it one time just to prove a point. Young people are out here doing great things, but here we are. We're entering our 16th year and celebrating not only young people in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but all over the world.
Speaker 1:Wow. That is amazing. So there are two phrases that really stood out in my mind about what you were sharing. One of those phrases is positive reinforcement. Our children often see the news, and they see a lot of the bad and negative things plastered across the screen going viral on social media.
Speaker 1:But when teens are doing well, sometimes the light is more dim. And so the other phrase is celebrate the good. And we have to celebrate our kids while we have them. And I love that you put your passion together. So you were great at public relations.
Speaker 1:Your husband had this passion for youth, even though it was heavy on those who weren't doing right within the system. And it's just amazing that your love for your husband allowed you to put that action into place and create something for the youth. It definitely is needed. And the fact that you've been doing it for 16 years shows that in the community is really resonating with those that you reach and you touch. So kudos to you and your husband for for seeing that need.
Speaker 1:And I think for young people, you know, the fact that the young person was able to speak up, what if they hadn't? What if they had just, you know, kept that inside and then committed the crime? You know, I think, you know, there's a lot of amazing joy and confidence for youth to speak up when especially when they don't know that person. That teen didn't have an intimate relationship with your husband, like, knowing him by name, but he said he or she said something, and it caused an impact, a change in our community. And I think that's pretty crucial.
Speaker 1:And our teens do need mentorship. They do need to be recognized. So I know that you've talked a lot about the work that your husband does. But can you kind of unlock? What are you seeing as you engage with the different teams as you create this platform for them?
Speaker 1:What are you seeing that parents should kind of be aware of, that educators should be aware of to help unlock their talents and really get them in touch with their environments in a positive way.
Speaker 2:Well, you mentioned one of them, and that is to create safe spaces. So by offering consistent encouragement, these safe spaces, they really make teams feel not only valued, but heard. And they feel a sense of security to share, like you said. And in doing so, even for them, like it sparked the idea for us. But for them, it can also open avenues for them to feel comfortable of fueling their own creativity and their exploration.
Speaker 2:One of the things we found with the Shine Awards Foundation, even if a if a teen has just an idea of maybe, you know, they want to create their own nonprofit. Okay, great. We're not going to say, you're too young to do that. No, we connect them to, a professional who has a successful nonprofit and maybe set up a day for shadowing or maybe it's a zoom call on what are next steps? How do you build at your age?
Speaker 2:What are the steps you take to build your nonprofit? Also parents, educators, this is a good time in their teen years to show support for their interests. So whether it's sports, arts, science, volunteering, but you taking time to invest time and resources to nurture their passions. Sometimes it really is all about them knowing someone believes in them. One of the things that one of our teams said to us that impacted us early on, well, it was actually 2 things.
Speaker 2:So one, she says she was a teen that was kind of on the brink of making the decision on what pathway she was going to take. She wrote us a letter, pathway she was gonna take. She wrote us a letter, and she said that her grandmother dragged her to the Shine Awards. And she said 2 things. 1, she saw other people like her.
Speaker 2:So apparently, I guess she was really good in, in academics but was being teased. So she said, I saw other people like me, but the part that really impacted us was that she felt empowered to continue to be good in her academics publicly because of the power she felt of other people believing in her even though she didn't know them. So whether it's someone that the teenager knows, their parent educator, the connection to a mentor, a professional, shadowing opportunity for them to see that the world is bigger and there's other people rooting for them, I think that goes a long way.
Speaker 1:Wow. You know, sometimes when our kids are doing the right thing and on the right path, it's not enough. You know? Just hearing her say that seeing other students who were doing well academically, academically sound and, you know, interactive in a positive way, seeing them just reinforce that good behavior and that positivity. And I think that's something that we as adults sometimes take for granted.
Speaker 1:Like, oh, that child is already doing what they're supposed to. So we just automatically assume that they're gonna be on the right track from here on out. Even though I think we can probably look back in our own backgrounds and remember having some classmates who were doing well at some point and then veered off the path. And so I think that is something that we constantly have to be mindful of. That if we don't put our kids in spaces where they can see other people like them thriving, that can be a misstep on our part.
Speaker 1:So I love that she was able to share that, and I'm grateful to hear that her grandparent, you know, took her to that award ceremony because, you know, there is that African proverb that we've heard time and time again that says, it takes a village. And I think as we get more and more into being a technical society, we kind of feel like digital can do it all, that we don't necessarily need real people in our in our space to really make a positive impact on us, but it's more so helpful now than ever before that real people in our family's lives and our kids' lives really show that they matter to them in a real tangible reality way and not just, you know, liking a post or sending a text, but doing something that can really help them thrive. And that's what really kinda stands out to me about what you said. And even though it wasn't necessarily a formal mentorship relationship, there were positive moments and pockets that that team was able to take from that experience and allow it to help propel her into the future. So that's really telling.
Speaker 2:I wanna say to something you said about, you know, as adults, sometimes we take for granted, like, oh, you know, the student is supposed to do that or they're doing well and they're they'll continue to do well. When we first started the Shine Awards, we thought it would be easy to have teachers and parents nominate young people they saw doing well. And it really was hard. And the the number one thing that we kept getting as as a response was, well, they're supposed to do that. Like they're supposed to go to school.
Speaker 2:They're supposed to. And that was for us, like not only surprising, but a little heartbreaking because as adults, we want to be recognized for our work and we want raises and promotions, but our kids, oh, they're supposed to go to school, do well in school, whatever. So the fact that you said that that just brought back to our my memory of the early years, how we thought, like, of course, parents are going to want to nominate their kids. But we had that kind of that wall of, well, they're supposed to do that. The other thing I do want to say, too, that you kind of talked about was celebrating their wins and that we also see too that, you know, we shouldn't have to wait to win the goal or the project that they're working on is complete to celebrate them.
Speaker 2:Maybe celebrate the journey to the win. So maybe acknowledge their efforts, by saying, you know, I'm proud of how you stuck with that project, or I love how you, are not giving up and you're still auditioning for that role. Just to to acknowledge, like, you see them doing the work, not necessarily celebrating the outcome.
Speaker 1:Wow. That's pretty deep. And when you were just sharing, what came to my mind is we see parents talking a lot about self care for themselves and kind of trying to make sure they're meeting their own needs, but we don't necessarily have that same sort of push to do that for our teens. And, yes, self care is completely different, but we do hear the words gratitude in our society a lot. And this is a moment where we can express that gratitude for our teens.
Speaker 1:And what hurt does it do to say, hey. You're on the right track, and I see that. I see you in the moment. And there are so many different things that our teens are faced with, so we shouldn't just say, oh, they're just doing what they're supposed to do because there are so many things that can cause distractions that really knock them off the path of success. So the fact that, you know I'm not so shocked to hear that it was hard at first because I think, you know, we we've just kind of been conditioned to overlook some things that may be really important to our teens.
Speaker 1:So I know that the Shine Awards does highlight the teens, but is there a career readiness aspect of it that, and if so, can you describe what that looks like?
Speaker 2:Yes. So the Shine Awards is the actual, award ceremony. The Shine Awards Foundation, is the umbrella organization, and year round, we provide programming and resources for young people between the ages of 13 and 24. So that can come in the form of, exposing them to cultural events. Here in Pittsburgh, we have a whole cultural district that we found out a lot of our young people haven't even experienced going into some of our grand halls.
Speaker 2:So we'll make sure they are exposed to shows that they're interested in, but that they can say, you know, I went to Hines Hall or I was I was inside the Benedum Center. So we do that. As I mentioned earlier, we do connect them to, other professionals. Now we don't force a mentor mentorship relationship. We feel like that should happen organically if there's some chemistry between the 2.
Speaker 2:But we will expose young people to a professional in the area that they're interested in. And if possible, depending on the industry, create a day that they can watch that person work. Sometimes it's kinda cool depending on what the job is. They're able to have them help them, in in some capacity. So if it's a restaurant, maybe they're, like, a junior shoe chef, at that time or something like that.
Speaker 2:So we do that, and then we've also we host workshops. We also do virtual events where they'll have an opportunity to ask celebrities that they know questions. So it's a variety of ways that we, try that we work to reach the teens, because one way might not attract it's like so, for example, like, at the celebrity event might be more impactful to one teen, versus maybe the shadowing. So we try to kinda offer different ways to, get their attention. Even the cultural events will have other professionals there as additional chaperones, and there's opportunities for them to connect and kinda share what they do there.
Speaker 2:So where it's not such a structured environment, but we're communicating and offering resources and information.
Speaker 1:Mentors or different chaperones who, you know, may not be that predominant parent, like, the same sex as the predominant parent in the home, then, you know, that sort of interaction can really just be something that is very sometimes our teens, are seen as people who deflect from authority, but you're giving them an opportunity to really connect with authority figures but in a less intimidating way so it's comfortable. That is huge. How did you come up with the concept that, you know, it would really make a difference? I know, you know, it could take a case study, but it seems like the thought kind of, came organically. Is that what happened?
Speaker 2:Yeah. It it it did. It the whole everything about this was organic. Nothing was planned. But our way of connecting young people with professionals that came from an issue in our city, they decided to put some high schools downtown.
Speaker 2:And from that, there were some issues that just came out of that young people downtown, professionals, people who live downtown, just that whole mix of population. So, my husband and I again, watching the news, seeing this being a big story because, again, it's it's it's the angle was that the kids were cause causing all these problems, but that really wasn't the case. But, anyway, since that was the angle, we offer like, you know, we wanna step in and help. We ended up, meeting with the administrators of the schools that who were downtown, and, we decided to create, a shine award student board. And so each school selected representatives, to be on the board.
Speaker 2:And that's kind of how it started. Like we were getting their feedback and hearing their concerns and finding out really what was happening. And from that pool of kids is them saying to us, we don't have access to professionals. Like there were people that wanted to join the military. Like, where do I find this person?
Speaker 2:There were, a girl that wanted to be a model. Okay. We know several models, like, so that's how it started. And then from that point, it just kind of grew where. Whether it's on Facebook or, you know, we do some kind of partnership with churches, we would just say, Hey, we have tickets to an event or we're going to do this.
Speaker 2:But on on the back end, we're like, okay, we need these 5 adults because it's going to be this kind of a event or these kind of kids, you know, just kind of be prepared, to how you're gonna handle your interaction. And I think also what makes it successful for us too, is that we don't show up with a speech. Like we're not trying to present, we just kind of hang back and let them talk to us. Unless they have a specific question, we'll answer it. But for the most part, we're just kinda hanging out, letting them talk.
Speaker 2:And, what has happened with that is sometimes they'll ask for contact information. Instagram is great because a lot of our adults are on Instagram and so are the kids. So that's a good kind of platform. So when our adults are like, oh, you could follow me on Instagram. It's instantly they got cool points.
Speaker 2:Like, oh, you're on IG. You know? So, but that's kinda how that's how it started with this student advisory board, and they really helped us with the foundation of building out how we would communicate moving forward with young people. Hopefully, that wasn't a long answer.
Speaker 1:It's totally fine. I think it's perfect. You know, just hearing you talk, it made me think about, growing up as a kid. And for me, I grew up in the church, and there were many different types of professionals. But now I feel like kids aren't necessarily exposed to a a system like a church where they're doing events, and they have to interact with different people who are different professions of all different ages because there's a intergenerational piece to it as well.
Speaker 1:Like, growing up, we had a intergenerational choir. And, yes, in some cases, those things still exist, but a lot of our teens don't necessarily have that. And it seems like you're creating an environment that can kind of parallel that experience in many ways. And so that is very important
Speaker 2:because I know over the 16 years,
Speaker 1:you've had to have seen 16 years, you've had to have seen children become professionals that you once worked with. Can you kind of share some of those highlights and how that has kind of just made you feel?
Speaker 2:Yes. It makes us feel very proud, to see them just now we met them as teens, and now they're these, you know, successful adults. One of our success stories, one of our she actually was a Shine Awards nominee. She didn't win a Shine Awards, but, her expression of how important it was to her to even be nominated. But she's, one of the news anchors on our on our one of our news stations.
Speaker 2:So proud of her. We have a young lady who was our trophy presenter. She's now a model in California. We have, we have, one of our honorees who went on to work at the White House. My husband is also a reverend.
Speaker 2:So he married I think it's been 2 years ago now. He married 2 of our Shine Award honorees. So we call them our 1st Shine family. They just also had a son, so he's our official Shine baby. So we've married Shine people.
Speaker 2:We've had we have authors, nonprofit founders, but, yes, it is so great to see, oh, I just met 2 the other day. 1 works at a theater in our city. Another one is I think he's a oh, he's a performer. He's a songwriter. Like, there's so much like, it's so great.
Speaker 2:But what makes us so proud is that they say the Shine Awards gave them that boost the confidence where they thought no one was seeing them. And then not only to be seen, but to be celebrated on such a public platform gave them the confidence to do more. Just one quick example. In our early years, we had, a young person. She was, again, great academically.
Speaker 2:But she shared with us, even though she was a success in high school, she didn't think she was college material. She ended up being nominated. She ended up winning the shine awards because she won an award that gave her the confidence to apply for college. She ended up graduating college and now she's in her PhD. So so even if your child doesn't win a shine award or any award, I think just us, whether you are a parent, an educator, a aunt, a cousin, just making sure teenagers, like, I see you.
Speaker 2:Like, I saw you got an a or, I don't know. Like, I saw that I see you're you're a really hard studier. Like, you're you love to read. You enjoy taking walks. Like, anything that that shows them what they're doing is good, and they're getting these little dopamine boost boost of, confidence from people in their village.
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Speaker 2:Visit cleverlychanging.com
Speaker 1:to learn more. I just have to pause right here and tell those who are listening that I know you can't see our guest, Erlana, but she has just lit up the room with her smile as she talks about her youth and the Shine Awards. Just hearing you talk and, you know, name what the the students are doing now, it's like, you know, there's a sense of ownership, a sense of joy, a happiness that is so beautiful just hearing you talk about that. And I and I I just had to highlight that for those who can't see you because it's truly, truly beautiful. And I think, you know, for those who, you know, not, you know, they may not actually, you know, have an opportunity to participate in the Shine Awards.
Speaker 1:But I think just hearing about what you're doing, hopefully, this can definitely, you know, light a spark in other people to take an interest in the youth in their community. If something doesn't exist like the shine awards, they can definitely, you know, take a page from your book. So right now, if you could just speak to somebody who is listening, they feel inspired by what you're sharing, just give them a few words of encouragement.
Speaker 2:I would say, well, if you're a parent, do you mean? Sure. Okay. So if you're a parent, if you're educator, if you're an auntie, a cousin, and you have you have some exposure to young people, I would say instantly, because I think as adults, we're conditioned to give advice, especially if your family. But instead of advice, maybe switch your brain to encouragement.
Speaker 2:So whether it's I love the outfit you put together today, or I heard that you wrote a new song today or whatever that is, instead of a criticism or advice, Switch your brain to a compliment of something that you know, or that you heard that they've done. And it really goes a long way, especially if your family, if you're a parent, if you're a teacher, yes, it has impact. But if you're a family member of a young person, compliments go a long way. Teenagers love to be where they're celebrated. And so if you are that person they're drawn to because you represent light, you always have some word of encouragement, a compliment.
Speaker 2:They will come to you, see you as a safe space, and all you're doing is planting a seed for a young person to flourish later on.
Speaker 1:Incredible. Thank you so much for sharing that. And for those who, do you do you have to be in the Pittsburgh area to participate in the SHINE Awards? Can you kinda share how people can support you and get involved?
Speaker 2:Yes. So it started off as a local initiative, but we are now a national event. So it is the Shine Awards. We spell shine with a y. And if you know of a young person between the ages of 13 and 24, you can nominate them, in one or more of the 9 categories that's on the website.
Speaker 2:We are in nomination season now and nominations in the last day in March. The Shine Awards is the 1st Sunday in August. So this year it will be Sunday, August 3rd, and it's at the beautiful Pittsburgh Playhouse. If you are not from Pittsburgh, we would love to have you come in. So far, we've had, out of towners come to our city to be a part of Shine Awards.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, out of towners cannot show up just due to other academic, what's
Speaker 1:the problem?
Speaker 2:There you go. So, if you are not from Pittsburgh and your child wins, we do have it where they can do a video and we show it at the, event. And then we just ship out your child's all the winnings, that they receive, from being a shine honoree. But organically, over the years, the teenagers have dubbed it the Grammys for teens because it's very flashy, and we literally treat the young people as stars as they are.
Speaker 1:Super. Super. I wanna just say your, your website once again, and we'll definitely have this information in our show notes, the shineawards.com. So shine does have a y and not an I and definitely visit cleverlychanging.com to see the show notes. So this is just super incredible.
Speaker 1:I am so proud of you and your organization for all that you're doing in the community. I think it's making a huge impact, and, you know, I wish you many, many years to come. If somebody is you know, they're not able to participate, but they wanna donate, do you take donations on your site?
Speaker 2:Oh, yes. And we love and appreciate donations. So, again, the website is actually the shineawardsdot dotorg. And we do spell shine with the y. But, yes, if you do not have, a child to nominate and you just, feel like this is an organization you would like to support, we definitely would appreciate it.
Speaker 2:And, again, the shine awards dot work.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Awesome. And thank you. I'll I definitely corrected my notes so I can put it up there correctly. But this is terrific.
Speaker 1:How can people stay connected with you, and what you're doing?
Speaker 2:Yes. So I'm on all platforms. So the Shine Awards is actually on every platform, TikTok, IG, Facebook, x. And then I'm also on every platform as well. So Orlana Darkins Drewery.
Speaker 2:I use my whole name. I should be easy to find, but I'm on LinkedIn, IG, Facebook x, all everything. But IG is my favorite. So if you reach out to me there, you'll probably get a faster response.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Awesome. I definitely know how that goes. So that is terrific. I wanna just before we kind of wind down, I wanted to share just a couple points that really stood out to me about what you said.
Speaker 1:Number 1 is create safe spaces for our teams so that they can feel valued and heard. Number 2, mentorship is powerful. Listen to teams, support their interest, and nurture them. Number 3, exposure to things greater than them can have an impact. Number 4, instead of advice, give encouragement or a compliment.
Speaker 1:And number 5, try to be relatable. Meet teens where they are. So those are just five things that you touched on in today's conversation that I think parents can kind of parents and educators, whoever is working with teens, can take with them to, you know, really make an impact in the youth's lives that they are interacting with. Are there any books, that you would recommend or any something, like, something additional that you would recommend that, people kind of look into if they are interested and and want to work with teens but don't necessarily know how to get started?
Speaker 2:I don't have a book recommendation, but I have a activity idea, that, we did with another organization. And I don't I don't remember the name of it, but basically because most people, especially teens, are visuals. They're very visual. So if a teacher or a parent sees a young person doing good, whether that is they there was a piece of paper in the hallway and they picked it up and threw it away or whatever, that you walk up to that person and say, you know, something like, I see you. And maybe there's a visual board where there's a star or they get a sticker or something for that act of kindness or selflessness or whatever that is.
Speaker 2:But I just, I'm really big on just in that moment. Acknowledging good. And maybe just because again, teenagers are very visual, some type of visual, so a sticker, a gift card, something to kinda solidify the win.
Speaker 1:Yes. And that gift card, no teen will turn down a gift card.
Speaker 2:No. No adult's gonna turn one down.
Speaker 1:Give them something they can use. I think I think that is powerful and just beautiful. As we close, I have a couple quick rapid fire questions that I wanna ask you. Okay. And it's more of a this or that sort of thing.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say, 2 things, and you're just gonna answer with the one that you like the most. So pizza or steak? Pizza. Book or ebook? Book.
Speaker 2:Coffee or tea? Coffee.
Speaker 1:Cell or landline? Cell. Computer or tablet?
Speaker 2:Computer.
Speaker 1:Podcast or radio? Podcast.
Speaker 2:Cake or pie? Cake.
Speaker 1:Alright. That was it. Very easy. Very easy. But it just gives us a little insight.
Speaker 1:I appreciated today's talk, and I know our listeners have as well. Again, say your website one more time for everybody as we close.
Speaker 2:Yes. It's the shine awards dot org. We spell shine with a y.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Incredible, everybody. Definitely show some support. Give, donate. Let this organization know that the work that they're doing in our community matters.
Speaker 1:So thank you so much for your time and for being here. Thank you for tuning into the Cleverly Changing podcast. We hope you found valuable insights to help nourish your child's confidence and sense of self. Remember, every small step you take today shapes the leaders of tomorrow. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with other parents in your community.
Speaker 1:Until next time, keep changing the world one clever child at a time.
